The Alpha Male

[esanjays]

I know there are plenty of girls in FLL. Sorry for the title, but since I only have a team of boys, I just called it that. I'm a second year female coach dealing with 6 pre-teen and teen boys.

I want to know how you've handled the instances where boys are trying to figure out who's the leader. I don't think they are conscious of that, but I have one boy who challenges the others. He's the oldest in the group and quite competitive. Everything has to be compared and he likes "winning" by builder the better attachment or having the best programming skills or even using a better operating system (PC vs MAC debate). He's not attacking people personally, just stating his opinion most of the time. The effect is that sometimes he can rub the others in the group the wrong way and it causes hurt feelings. Mostly I'd say he says things before he thinks. Should I even be concerned about hurt feelings with these kids or do they have to learn how to deal with it?

I don't want that competitiveness to turn off others in the group, but I also feel I have to teach the others in the group that they will come across people like this when they get older.

I'd love to hear from anyone in the group that's had to deal with this. I would love to grow in this area too. I'm a non confrontational type of person and just want everyone to work harmoniously and be friends. Reality is that kids and adults don't always operate this way.

Thanks for any wisdom you have to offer!

[RvRDilemma]

I strongly recommend a leadership model that addresses this. High effective teams usually use one. You should plan to develop roles that you think will work for your team and season schedule. Once the roles are established, have the team develop the season schedule accordingly.

I'm not a big fan of the team leader, ie. one boss, models. They are self defeating, even if you don't have a group of ALL boys.

I like to balancing things out. TWO groups: roboteers and programmers. For roboteers, two roles: robot architect and robot engineer. For programmers [same thing], a program architect and a program engineer. If you have more than 4, the develop roles other fitting roles that will work for the schedule in your mind. If you plan to have the kids spend more time on design, they have a chief strategies. If you plan to have them spend more time refining a solution, then have testers and finishers.

This only works if YOU enforce team roles. This doesn't mean that member so nothing if their role is finished, it just means that roles convert to responsibilities. First lead...then follow OR the other way around.

It is also important for teamwork and Core Values!!!

[dnb]

Originally Posted by esanjays

Sorry for the title, but since I only have a team of boys, I just called it that. I'm a second year female coach dealing with 6 pre-teen and teen boys.

I know what you mean. My team also consists of 6 boys. The hormone levels vary from day to day.

Thanks for any wisdom you have to offer!

Your team should do teamwork exercises.

[esanjays]

RvRDilemna... how did you incorporate the project within these two teams?

[Dean Hystad]

Behavior modification. Reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. The lad is a bully because it has worked for him in the past. Make it not work for him in FLL.

At the US Open they handed out Gracious Professionalism pins when a team was observed performing a notably GP act. I thought it a bit silly at the tournament, but I can see its value when used longer term. Each little reward is a message, "That was good, do that again and good things will happen to you".

With my girls the reward was unstructured play time. Finish a task and you can go outside and play for 15 minutes. With the lads I let them take a handful of LEGO from the odd parts bin. I have heard other teams that have a special GP or CV plush toy that is a badge of honor for someone who's behavior or deeds have been particularly good.

Having everyone work harmoniously and be friends is a goal, not a model.

I am not a fan of structure introduced to make things smooth and efficient. That is a great idea for work, but a really bad idea for FLL. My main goal this year is to get my boys to manage their own behavior and increase their awareness of each other. I'm not hearing as much "I", "my" and "mine" anymore. Occasionally credit for ideas is awarded to others. Looking at all the team instead of just me when talking has a way to go, but they do wait for each other to finish talking before jumping into the conversation. All in all I am pretty happy.

And by the way, at FLL meetings the coach is the alpha male (even if she is a girl).

[RvRDilemma]

Originally Posted by esanjays

RvRDilemna... how did you incorporate the project within these two teams?

We didn't. Our team had to present it twice at regionals and states. They did it one way first, then the other the second.

[RvRDilemma]

Dean,

Models are all about using structure to reach a goal. I'm sure you're using models to run your teams...you just don't call them "models".

I think of kids are young scientist and engineers who will be leaders some day. Giving them a heads up on the real world IS what FLL is all about.

My teams have always enjoyed the structure...esp. if they've done FLL on other teams. The idea is for everyone to be on the same page, one way or another. That's my 2 cents.

[BlueCheesyFlamingos]

Originally Posted by RvRDilemma

I think of kids are young scientist and engineers who will be leaders some day. Giving them a heads up on the real world IS what FLL is all about.

My teams have always enjoyed the structure...esp. if they've done FLL on other teams. The idea is for everyone to be on the same page, one way or another. That's my 2 cents.

Yes this is very true in any corporate environment where you are working with a group. I know for me this is every day life.

[Dean Hystad]

Originally Posted by RvRDilemma

Models are all about using structure to reach a goal. I'm sure you're using models to run your teams...you just don't call them "models".

I think of kids are young scientist and engineers who will be leaders some day. Giving them a heads up on the real world IS what FLL is all about.

Nope. No models unless anarchy is model. The coaches set up some meeting times and a location. Other than some experiments at the very beginning and a couple more to help track down bugs/solve problems, the lads have decided what to work on. I occasionally remind them of the schedule.

One of the boys was on a team that had a lot of structure and rigid roles and responsibilities. He was a researcher. He never built or programmed! I get a deeply felt "Thanks" at the end of every meeting and many comments about how much more fun FLL is this year than in the past.

As for giving kids a taste of what the real world IS, I think that is the opposite of what FLL is about. What the world IS about is getting stuff done efficiently and profitably. I don't want my team to be efficient. I want them to learn. I want them to be messy, make mistakes and explore. I want them to occassionally follow a dead end path and realize it wasn't a waste of time because they learned something. Most importantly, I want them to set their own goals, set their own schedules, and regulate their own activities. If they can do that they will not only be able to fit into the structure of any organization, but they'll be able to manage their own lives. If they fail, that is a lesson too.

[BlueCheesyFlamingos]

Originally Posted by Dean Hystad

One of the boys was on a team that had a lot of structure and rigid roles and responsibilities. He was a researcher. He never built or programmed! I get a deeply felt "Thanks" at the end of every meeting and many comments about how much more fun FLL is this year than in the past.

To me this sounds more like a bad model then a problem with using a model. I personally think it's good for the kids to learn about different ways to... well basically project manage. You need to show the kids some different ways so they can define their own approach. Letting them flounder in the dark without at least a couple examples is only setting them up for frustration later on.

We see a lot of young college students coming out of school without the basic skills to formally manage a project. And I say this as one of those students! I plan to show them the design process that RvR Dilemma has talked about along with showing them how we use SCRUM to manage our code development at work. They can take what they want from them (if anything) and throw away the rest.